Muirnait's Musings

Much like Robyn, I've become increasingly frustrated with Windows Live Spaces.  Paritcularly with the fact that many people who've wanted to leave me a comment have been unable to do so.  And since we know it's all about showing the love...
I'm moving back to blogger!  I am a fickle, fickle woman.  Wanna come?  :-D
The new (old) addy is:  http://muirnait.blogspot.com  Party at my place!

I am desirous of many things. It's about time to get to work on the birthday/Christmas list too. But I have to say? This? Is going right at the top.
(If you don't get it?  I don't know if we can be friends anymore.  ;-)  jk.  Btw....hi Amanda!  I bet you will!!)

Well, the concert went quite well, aside from a couple huge mistakes, which were really more funny than anything. Like poor Ed, who couldn't get his bass intro after - I swear - half a dozen tries. I hate getting a brain freeze like that! Or Ryan...he forgot how the last song went and sent us on a merry little chase heh. But all in all, I'm really happy with how it turned out, and I've got some more money to get recording. So, I'll leave you with a couple pictures from tonight...

For your viewing pleasure:
Me, pretending I'm not that tired.
Me, giving up and admitting it.
And...the pretty pretty (and good-smelling) flowers from Eileen's garden.

AAAANND...msn is mean.  Go see Flickr, mmmk?

I haven't had butterflies in my stomach for a very long time.  But I do today.  Good grief, I'm nervous.  I really hate having an upset stomach though.  It kinda messes with the whole deal.  I need to eat something, but just the thought...*shudder*  I didn't sleep well last night, and I'm just feeling kinda oogy all over.  I hope I remember everything on my to do list!  Wish me luck, eh?  Today's the "big day."

I'm so frustrated with myself, with school, with everything.  I've got too much going on.  I'm so excited for the concert on Sunday night, but I'm also terribly nervous.  Of course, my typical response to stress is to hide.  It doesn't really accomplish much, I assure you.  The next week is big, musically.  I have dress rehersal, the concert, then recording on Monday.  I have some money for recording, enough to start anyway.  And that is such a blessing.  I'm grateful.  But I feel like I should be more...something.  More excited?  More positive, more ambitious?
And school!  Only three classes, and yet it seems ridiculously overwhelming.  Maybe it's just because it's midterms?  The hardest thing for me seems to be just to go.  It shouldn't be this challenging, I think.  And yet, I truly don't believe it's in my long-term best interests to pursue a withdrawal.  I want to, need to succeed at this.  I have spoken with counselors who agree that I need to keep moving forward.  I will, after all, likely be dealing with this disorder for the rest of my life.  I'll continue to seek out help and the best possible medications, but have not yet achieved that balance.  As such, I find I'm in the position of asking, yet again, for grace from my professors.  Grace from the people around me.  Try to understand, I'm trying to get it right.  I know I'm further off than some - missing the mark.  Mostly, more than anything...divine grace.  Strength for one more day.  Abba?  Help - I need grace.

Well, I've worked a bit with a new MySpace page, just for the music factor, so please, go check it out, and tell your friends.  ;-)

http://myspace.com/heatherpollockmusic

So, time to do this again eh? Sharon sort of reminded me.

                I am thankful for...

                            ....love.
                            ....laughter.
                            ....family.
                            ....friends.
                            ....good food, good wine and good company.
                            ....my sister Emily. Happy birthday, baby.
                            ....grace.
                            ....the chance to learn.
                            ....a late class tomorrow.
                            ....my warm sweater.
                            ....the fact that I found my slippers.
                            ....a warm bed.
                            ....sensing a theme yet?

                                                                            Goodnight.

Well, I finally wrote the essay that's been kicking my butt for heaven knows how long, and I honestly think I did a pretty good job.  We'll see when the grade comes of course, but for now, I'm happy about it.  Now, off to class to hand it in.  And after that, about a million other things, but no, I'm not stressed; of course not.  Well, that would be silly.  Ha, ha. Ha ha haha hahahhahah...*toddles off maniacally.*

People, it feels like my head's gonna 'splode.  Is yucky.  And owie.  And I'm a big baby.  So, I'm going to bed, even though I can't sleep.  Buh bye.

Heyas.  So, this weekend involved some studying, and some sleeping, and some hangoutitude.  It was rad, I'm sure.  Friday night was girls' night (Throughout the night, Emily, Camille and I, then Becca and Leah), hitting two different restaurants for appies with two different groups of friends (Um water please.  And not cuz I'm cheap lol)  Saturday night was the YA games night, where we played some crazy circle game that has my thighs aching from all the times we got in and out of the chairs, then I Have Never (that means more up and down.) then Sardines (in the dark!) and Cops and Robbers.   It was pretty sweet.  Afterwards, the Andrews, Emily, Becca, Brent and I went to BP and enjoyed the specials. 
Sunday morning was church, heard the new pastor preach for the first time.  Not too shabby.  I think he has a very professorial air.  I haven't "met him" met him, just yet, but so far, I like him.  Sunday afternoon we had a vocal rehersal for my upcoming concert, in which Jen, Mike and I had way too much fun.  We probably spent just as much time chatting and laughing as we did singing, but we still managed to get quite a bit done.  I then took some chicken soup and Vitamin C to Vander, who is sick, and since his mum lives in Rossland, I thought he could use some mothering.  And plus, I'm a big dork.  And then?  It was super exciting what happened next:  I went to sleep!  Woo!
Then today!  Today was so exciting.  Do you know why it was so exciting?  Want me to tell you?  *gets smacked* Oh.  Ok.  Moving on then.  I went riding!  Yay!  My visit to Laura, which was supposed to happen Saturday, had to be posponed due to an abundance of work on her part.  But we rescheduled for today, and I had a blast.  She has five horses, three llamas, three cats and two dogs.  I spent the most time with the two golden retrievers, some time cuddling with Shea, the kitten, and of course plenty of time with Sydney, the Clydesdale whom I wrote.  I went bareback, since we didn't have a saddle.  So just in case I wasn't sore enough from the games at YA, I had to throw some perching on a seventeen hand horse.  We didn't do much more than a slow trot, but considering I hadn't ridden in seven years, that was probably a good place to start!  I talked with Laura and her Mum, and we plan to all go for a ride again.  Yay! 
Also, I finally posted a few pics up at Flickr, so please, go have a look.  Now, it's my bedtime!  Ciao.