I'm so frustrated with myself, with school, with everything.  I've got too much going on.  I'm so excited for the concert on Sunday night, but I'm also terribly nervous.  Of course, my typical response to stress is to hide.  It doesn't really accomplish much, I assure you.  The next week is big, musically.  I have dress rehersal, the concert, then recording on Monday.  I have some money for recording, enough to start anyway.  And that is such a blessing.  I'm grateful.  But I feel like I should be more...something.  More excited?  More positive, more ambitious?
And school!  Only three classes, and yet it seems ridiculously overwhelming.  Maybe it's just because it's midterms?  The hardest thing for me seems to be just to go.  It shouldn't be this challenging, I think.  And yet, I truly don't believe it's in my long-term best interests to pursue a withdrawal.  I want to, need to succeed at this.  I have spoken with counselors who agree that I need to keep moving forward.  I will, after all, likely be dealing with this disorder for the rest of my life.  I'll continue to seek out help and the best possible medications, but have not yet achieved that balance.  As such, I find I'm in the position of asking, yet again, for grace from my professors.  Grace from the people around me.  Try to understand, I'm trying to get it right.  I know I'm further off than some - missing the mark.  Mostly, more than anything...divine grace.  Strength for one more day.  Abba?  Help - I need grace.